Roni

I finished the last rep of front squats and re-racked the bar. All of a sudden I could feel it: my heart was beating fast, too fast. I couldn’t catch my breath. I started to feel dizzy and was 10 push-presses away from finishing my workout and I knew I couldn’t do it. Even with just the bar and no weight on it, I knew if I picked it up one more time, I would have found myself laying on the ground.

I should have noticed something was up by the way Coach Kate was looking at me during my squats. She was inspecting my face more than usual, and I didn’t think anything of it. She must have seen what was happening. I was beginning to get tunnel vision, almost about to red line.

I’m stubborn, we know this. So when I was in my fourth and final round of my timed workout, I pushed myself to get done faster. I rowed my last 300 meters at a consistent 2:10, quickly pushed through five more knees to chest, then went straight for my 8 final front squats. But on that final front squat, I realized I had pushed too far. I couldn’t even pick up the bar one more time to finish those push presses without a break. And it kind of scared me.

Up until now I got tired during workouts, but never exhausted. I sweat a little, not soaked like I was after this workout. Never had I pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of. If Coach Kate suggested I try something, I did, and I usually asked for more weight. But this was different. Coach Kate had already scaled UP my workout. She had added on those eight front squats to my workout rounds and threw in a fourth round instead of the original three I was supposed to do. So I should have taken my time.

“I know you’re capable of doing this.” She had said that right before I started my workout and I had taken it too much to heart.

And while I did eventually finish following a minor break, a quick gulp of water, and then resting on a bench for a bit, I know having Coach Kate ask me to do those extra exercises was a good educational moment for me. I am not invincible. I do have limits and I’m super glad that I got tunnel vision during a one-on-one workout rather than in a class.

That’s not to say I want tunnel vision again. I don’t. Which means I’m going to be more aware of my body. I won’t give up or give in to an easy workout, but I will know when to stop so I’m not passed out on the floor.

WOD

(4 times)
Row 300 meters
5 Knees to Chest
8 Front Squats (45 lbs)
10 Push Presses (45 lbs)

  “What seems impossible today will one day become your workout.”

That’s one thing that I need to keep telling myself, to keep myself motivated. If you don’t push yourself now, you’ll never find out your true potential. Those burpees that you curse, one day you’ll do double what you’re doing today. And doing crunches won’t feel like torture if you push yourself until you hurt now.

If there is one thing I’ve learned over the years is that a real workout makes you hurt. Not like “I broke something” hurt, but the dull pain of your muscles reminding your body that they did something today. They did something they’ve never done before.

I wouldn’t expect to do a pull-up on the first try. But I would expect to have to work for it. In a society where instant gratification seems to appeal to so many, I’ve had to step back quite a lot and say, it’s OK not to be the best on my first try. It’s OK to say that I can’t do something, so long as I try my hardest.

I have class this week with Coach Kate at EverProven and I really have no idea what to expect. It’s been almost a week since my last lesson with her, and I’ll admit, I’m a bit scared that I got lazy in the last week. I’ve eaten poorly, only done minimal working out, and have had no motivation to push myself. The sun was out this weekend, and when I could have gone for a run, I opted to lay around the house. I went outside to soak in the sun for a few minutes, but I didn’t push myself.

And I thought about it. If come July I’m upset with the way I feel or look, then I only have myself to blame. Every day I should be working out, eating healthy, making good decisions. Put down those donuts, go back to Paleo, and remind myself that while I’m human and can make poor diet decisions, I can make good workout decisions, too. Like ordering my Melaleuca Access bars instead of grabbing a cookie or – honestly – nothing at all before a workout. Yes, they taste like candy bars (S’mores flavored), but I’ve found they’re better than any other workout bar I’ve had. I like Clif Bars, but I feel full, not energized. With the Access Bars, they block adenosine and unlocks the body’s ability to turn fat into fuel. Complicated, sure, but in reality, what I get out of it is a burst of energy before and during my workout that keeps me going. And I don’t feel like I’m eating chalk or a gooey mess of peanut butter flavoring.

That’s one simple, little step I’m taking. Trying something that will benefit my workout, and encourage me to get to the gym. So readers, I ask: What are the little things you do to put you in a workout mood?

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